


I'll Be Your Superman

by dovingbird



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1265194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So hey, dating the Hansons is probably the best thing that's ever happened to Danny, but they're both pretty much flawless and perfect in every way. And that means he's gotta do whatever it takes to be the Best Boyfriend Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be Your Superman

Listen, things happen sometimes. Sometimes they're the worst things ever, like when you drop your ice cream cone like a millisecond before you were going to get the first bite, and then sometimes they're the best, like when two of your best friends start cuddling with you during movies or absently playing with your hair or holding your eyes just a little too long when you talk or maybe even _motherfucking kissing your neck_ (thanks for that, Arin), and suddenly you're...what, you're _dating_ them? A married couple? That's a thing that happens?  
  
Apparently it is. Because it's happening. Dan Avidan is totally having a thing with Arin and Suzy Hanson, and that's just weird, but it's the Best Thing Ever, and he'd like to think that there's no way of stopping it now.  
  
It's pretty middle school of him, but it's been a solid, like, two weeks, and they haven't even had any mad crazy sex yet or anything (there was that time Suzy was like dry humping him on the couch, though, while Arin whispered _incredibly_ interesting things in his ear...), but he's nervous. No, that's a lie, he's scared to the _core._ Arin and Suzy get each other. They've been together, what, like ten years? More than that? Jesus fucking Christ. They can read each other's minds and they know every nuance of their lover's facial expression. But for some reason, they like him. They like Danny. And they want him around?  
  
No, it's gotta be a fluke. They're gonna wake up tomorrow and agree that, yep, they made a mistake, they don't actually wanna see the D, they're pretty content with each other, and then they'll kick him out to cry in the gutter while they strut around being flawless all the time, the perfect assholes.  
  
But, as Danny knows, if you're already inevitably going to fail, you've gotta fail as spectacularly as possible. So if it's only a matter of time before they give up on him, he's gonna be the most perfect boyfriend ever so that their standards are forever too high after he's gone.  
  
It starts with flowers. Just little ones, single stems, some that he picks, some that he sweeps into a florist to purchase. He'll leave them on Suzy's pillow or tuck them behind her ear when she's reading or drape a few over her vanity so she'll see them the next day when she goes to do her makeup. He researches into flower language pretty damn hard, but he can't find one for "God you're so super mega foxy awesome hot" so they all feel a little lacking, honestly.  
  
Arin gets the neckrubs. Dan's been told he's pretty good at massages, probably thanks to the stupid long thumbs and fingers he has, so every time they take a break and Arin leans back with a little groan he goes straight to work, almost falls over the back of the couch in his haste to get there and murder the fuck out of those little gaming knots. One time he does fall, gets a nasty bruise on his elbow, and Arin just chuckles and shakes his head every time he sees it when they're passing each other in the hall.  
  
He comes to realize that Arin gives Suzy pretty fantastic compliments too, honestly, often punctuated with a kiss on the forehead or a buss over her knuckles, so Danny decides he's gotta pull up his big boy pants and step up his game or he's gonna get lost in the shuffle. It goes well for a while, but after a week or so he's losing things to compliment and starts getting reduced to leaning around her doorframe when she's getting ready in the mornings and saying things like "You know, I bet you have just the perkiest nipples," and that's probably not the way to make her blush and happy. No, she just laughs at him and waves him off and tells him if he wants to see perky nipples he should go find Arin instead, so he does, but he's pouting the whole time.  
  
A month goes by and they've been together the whole time and they're getting to the point where Arin's jacked him off and Suzy's let Danny watch while she and Arin 69, but Danny's no less nervous than when he started. He's creative, but he sucks _ass_ at keeping a relationship alive, he's pretty sure, and that's why it's safer to be single, but God, he likes these people more than he's ever liked anybody else, is pretty sure he loves them _platonically_ if not in any other way, and that means he can't just give up and let them all start coasting. But what can he do? He's tired, so damn tired, and he wants to make this work, and he's doing everything he can, but he ends up one day just collapsed on the Grump couch, and that's where Suzy and Arin find him.  
  
He licks his lips as he looks up at Suzy and tries again. "I wanna buy you something."  
  
She wrinkles her brow with her adorable little smile, cocking her head to the side. "Buy me something?"  
  
"Yeah. Anything. What do you want?"  
  
She laughs. "Umm. I-I don't need anything right now? I'm pretty much set."  
  
Danny tries to sit up, but ends up just collapsing flat again with a sigh. "Please? There's gotta be something?"  
  
Arin leans against the back of the couch. "Is it just me or are you acting weirder than usual?"  
  
No, this is the _opposite_ of what was supposed to happen, he's supposed to make them see how _awesome_ he is, not how weird. "Dude, no, I'm totally cool, whatever."  
  
"I don't think so." Arin looks at Suzy and lifts both eyebrows. "Do you think we broke him?"  
  
"No!" Danny suddenly shouts, and he finally manages to sit up even though he probably broke something in his spine with how abruptly he moved, and he digs his fingers into the back of the couch, looking between them both with huge eyes. "No, you didn't...you didn't break me, I just..."  
  
Suzy doesn't even hesitate to cover his hand with hers, to pluck it up from the cushions and wrap her fingers around it, and it's so smooth and without thought that Dan's heart tingles a little bit because she's so beautiful and so caring and just... "What's wrong, Dan?" She even kisses the back of his hand, just like Arin kisses hers. "Talk to us."  
  
But nothing's coming, and if it is it's just sitting on the back of his tongue waiting for the chance to choke him, so Danny closes his eyes and plants his forehead right in the back of the couch. "It's nothing."  
  
"Liar," Arin murmurs, and he can hear the grin on his voice.  
  
"It's just...really really stupid."  
  
And his boyfriend, again. "How is that different from anything else?"  
  
"Baby," Suzy shoots in there like a queen, so of course Arin shuts up, he's smart. "Maybe we shouldn't be calling Danny stupid when he's got something on his mind?"  
  
"No, it's fine." Danny sighs and squeezes his eyes super tightly shut so he can sort of pretend that this isn't happening and he's not a big stupid loser thing. "I'm just...really bad at all of this, I think. Like, SUPER bad, like, so bad that I'm a car with no brakes just charging down a hill into a big pile of dicks and fire and stuff, and..." He shifts, pressing his forehead against his and Suzy's hands instead, and he feels sort of bad for making his gross hair touch her but there's also nothing more soothing than the smell of the perfume she applies to the inside of her wrists every day. "I'm kind of just...waiting for the day that you both wake up...and realize that I'm really not worth your time."  
  
"...Oh Dan..."  
  
"Because I'm not." He cuts Suzy off and looks up at her, just peeking his eyes over their hands, his words still a little muffled in the cushion. "I'm really not. You're both...brilliant and talented and amazing and smart and funny and perfect and pretty - have I mentioned that literally _all_ of you is pretty?" He takes a second to appreciate it, both Suzy's and Arin's, before pressing on. "And I'm just some guy that lived in his car for a year and who's like fifty-seven years old and still in a band about dicks and shit, and I have literally nothing to offer."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
It's so soft that he barely even catches it at first, especially because he's been staring at Suzy this entire time because she just has this comforting way about her, but then he realizes that yeah, he heard it, he definitely did, and he looks at Arin and blinks.  
  
"Shut. The fuck. Up." Yeah, that's Arin, all right. He's staring at him with this stupid look in his eyes, this like bottomless _concern,_ but he looks a little angry too, and that's bullshit because Danny's been trying to _keep_ them from getting angry and here he just went and made it happen by telling them the truth. "You have more to offer...than any man I've ever fucking met."  
  
Danny shakes his head. "You don't have to say that, man-"  
  
"I'm saying it," Arin interrupts, reaching out and sliding his fingers into Danny's hair and holding his head gently, ever so gently, "because it's fucking true. Seriously, do you even _know?_ " And he looks so pained that Danny doesn't even wanna look at him, but he loves him, he fucking _loves_ him, so looking away isn't an option. "You make shit better, man. You make _me_ better. You come fucking waltzing into my life, and you take my stupid jokes and you make them gold, and when I'm pissed as hell you help me take it back down, and when I just wanna curl up in a ball and never move again you make me smile a hundred thousand times over, and..." He shakes his head, leaning down until they're nose-to-nose. "You're _perfect._ "  
  
He's never heard him like this. He expected Suzy to be the one to talk him down, to soothe him, but no, it's Arin, Arin with his big eyes and big heart and his dick jokes and his _"Fuck the whole world, they can suck literally eight thousand cocks"_ mentality. He's incredible.  
  
Suzy squeezes his hand gently and smiles. "...if we didn't want you here...we never would've asked. And you're not gonna be able to scare us off even if you try." She chuckles. "I don't know if you missed it, but I do fucking _taxidermy._ "  
  
She has a point. He can't help but laugh too.  
  
"You're stuck with us, man," Arin says, brushing his thumb gently over Danny's cheekbone. "And I can actually promise you...that you're not gonna fuck it up."  
  
Danny sighs, a slightly shaky sigh that shoots out so much anxiety and fear and nerves and everything else, and even though there's still a little there, down in the foundation of who he is, he's not gonna call these guys liars because he knows better. And he knows that they'll punch him in the face if he says it. "...I still wanna buy you something. Dinner? Can I pay for dinner?"  
  
"Can I order a fancy bottle of wine at the restaurant?" Suzy asks cheerfully.  
  
"...I-I was thinking more like Del Taco or something-"  
  
"I'm taking everything we just said back."


End file.
